Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Fill-in-the-boxes Templates that can be used to rebut a Summons or any Charge or Demand based on Statutes.

Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby Chipper » Sat Mar 20, 2010 2:43 pm

Thanks Free great idea! Here is my tweaked version

Appointment Request

If you have called at The Xxxxxx H to conduct business please note that there can be no business or private matters will be dealt with without a prior appointment.
Please complete the following application and return by post to -

Xxxxxxx ot the Xxxxxxxx family
Xxxxxxxxxxxx xxx xcxxxxxxxxxx
Xxxxxxxxx xxxx

1. What is your full name _
__________________________________________________________________
2. Are you here representing yourself or a company
______________________________________________
3. What is the Name of the Company you represent
______________________________________________
4. What is your trading address or the address of the company you represent
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
_______________________________________________
________________________________________________
5. What is the telephone number of the company you represent
_____________________________________
6. What is your job title within the company
____________________________________________________
7. With who are you seeking an appointment with
_______________________________________________
8. Brief outline of matter to be discussed
________________________________________________________

Please Note: If your application is successful you will be contacted by post no later than 3 weeks from date of application.

Your signature: __________________________ Dated: ___________________

Print Name: ______________________________________________________
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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby Free » Sat Mar 20, 2010 2:47 pm

Fantastic Chipper!

"Please note, an Appointment is ALWAYS necessary"


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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby the trojan » Sat Mar 20, 2010 2:59 pm

i could not sleep last night for thinking about this.
this is a great idea.
and it is still growing
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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby nameless » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:09 pm

This is really good. I haven't thought of anything else yet, as it seems to be clear and precise. Could I suggest a couple of grammatical improvements, though:

please note that there can be no business or private matters will be dealt with without a prior appointment.

I don't really like saying 'please' any more, something I read regarding please being similar to plead, but I may be wrong. The words 'will be' should be omitted.

7. With who are you seeking an appointment with

7. With whom are you seeking an appointment

Please Note Couldn't we just say 'Note' or N.B.

no later than 3 weeks from date of application

No later than 3 weeks from date of receipt of application.
“Whoever may be guilty of abuse of power, be it Government, State, Employer, Trade Union or whoever, the law must provide a speedy remedy. Otherwise the victims will find their own remedy."

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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby treeman » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:24 pm

Long before i awoke to the joke,I had a laminated A4 document stuck on the inside of my window,which read,"If you are NOT invited,or expected, then DO NOT knock on this door, it will not be answered.If you wish to contact ,me telephone............AND LEAVE A MESSAGE.otherwise GO AWAY". It worked,nice and simple. Intent.
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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby Chipper » Sun Mar 21, 2010 11:30 am

nameless wrote:This is really good. I haven't thought of anything else yet, as it seems to be clear and precise. Could I suggest a couple of grammatical improvements, though:

please note that there can be no business or private matters will be dealt with without a prior appointment.

I don't really like saying 'please' any more, something I read regarding please being similar to plead, but I may be wrong. The words 'will be' should be omitted.

7. With who are you seeking an appointment with

7. With whom are you seeking an appointment

Please Note Couldn't we just say 'Note' or N.B.

no later than 3 weeks from date of application

No later than 3 weeks from date of receipt of application.
:clap: :yes: :grin:
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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby nameless » Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:38 pm

Thanks for the encouragement, Clipper

I've been rethinking this and imo it is too kind and helpful - i.e. giving them your name and/or address. I've also omitted another 'please'.

Over the past three days we have had a few 'clipboards' round. We don't answer the door, and watching from our window, nor do our neighbours opposite, but if you happened to get caught in the garden, one of these application forms would be handy to have in your pocket. My latest version herewith:

Appointment Request

If you have called to conduct business, note that no business, private matters or questionnaires will be dealt with without a prior appointment.

If this is really important to you, complete and return the following application:


1. What is your full name
_____________________________________________

2. Are you here representing yourself or a company
_____________________________________________

3. What is the name of the company you represent
_____________________________________________

4. What is your trading address or the address of the company you represent
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________

5. What is the telephone number of the company you represent
_____________________________________________

6. What is your job title within the company
_____________________________________________

7. With whom are you seeking an appointment
_____________________________________________

8. Brief outline of matter to be discussed
_____________________________________________

Your signature: __________________________ Date: ________________

Print Name: ____________________________________


Note: If your application is successful you will be contacted by post no later than 3 weeks from date of receipt of application.
“Whoever may be guilty of abuse of power, be it Government, State, Employer, Trade Union or whoever, the law must provide a speedy remedy. Otherwise the victims will find their own remedy."

Lord Denning
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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby robandragon » Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:04 pm

this is a great piece :yes:
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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby emerald city » Mon May 31, 2010 6:13 am

To: nameless: tree: and freeman:

Wonderful, I have put this in my wordsoft file already, and will make copies to issue when necessary. It seems to stop all the unnecessary requests, letters and notices, or should ...

I have chosen the amended one by you nameless, with your permission... whoops sorry about that. - approval. ! :hug:
Thanks again, this was an excellent idea. I think I will make it "no later than 4 weeks after reciple of your application", just to keep them waiting and off my back for a longer period. But I don't think they will come back to readily. :cheer:
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Re: Questionnaire For Irritating Doorstep Callers

Postby Veronica » Mon May 31, 2010 1:32 pm

EC, honey, one of the Terms & Conditions of this Forum is that ANYTHING and EVERYTHING considered 'useful' can be used freely by anyone else.

'Approval' is implicit in the fact that someone Posts it into the Forums.

This is how we all help each other.

This IS a great idea. My own (personal) version comprises "Fuck off you cunt" ... which is a lot more compact ... but probably not so much actual 'fun' as this idea. (And, after all, 'fun' is what it's all about ... so I may very well use this new method)

(The problem is that "Fuck off you cunt" has been so successful ... I'm now short of 'material' for this new method)
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