Free Trade

Income Tax, Council Tax, National Insurance and VAT issues.

Free Trade

Postby Freeman Stephen » Tue Jan 05, 2021 2:45 am

I was sat down next to a big pile of Golden Delicious apples I had collected from a tree I had planted and cultivated by my own hand having clipped the spurs and saw to it that the tree had everything it needed to fill my basket with a big pile of golden delicious apples such that I was blessed with the fruit of my own labours.

Across from me was someone who had a basket full of Coxy's Pippin apples and I asked how he came across such a pile of apples like that and it was pretty much the same story as myself.

Like anyone I like a Golden Delicious but when you are eating the same apple, day in and day out, it gets a bit boring and I was relating this to the guy with the red apples and he was saying he was thinking something the same thing regarding his red apples and I suggested that maybe we should trade. One of my green apples for one of his red apples and he was like "WE CANT DO THAT" with big huge eyes as if there was some danger I was unaware of.

Why not, I asked?

He said that the moment I tried to pass a green apple to him, someone would sneak out the hedges and take a bite out of it (25%) and when he passed a red apple to me in exchange, someone would come out the hedges and take a bite out of it (25%) such that I would be trading one whole green apple in return for 75% of a red apple and he would be trading one whole red apple for 75% of a green apple and that if one red apple was equal to one green apple, the only way either of us could break even from such a transaction was for one of us to rip the other one and try and get a whole apples worth in exchange for half an apple.

Trading apples, thanks to the people who live in the hedges would be a devious practice to engage in.

I said "I dont believe you" and laughed and tossed him an apple, but just at that moment some people ran out the hedges and said "HALT! THIS IS SQUAD X.A.T.", grabbed the apple midflight, took a bite out of it and ran back into the hedges. He caught the apple and said "See I told you so!"

I got on the phone and called the police and said "Come round and see this. I dont know how to describe this really bizarre situation, but me and another are prevented from trading because people called the Squad X.A.T. keep coming out the hedges and stealing things as we attempt to trade with one another." The police came round and said "Allo, allo, allo, what's going on 'ere then!".

I said "Thank god your here constable" and explained the situation of our inability trade due to the thieves making it not just unprofitable to trade but absolutely impossible to even break even by engaging in trade. I asked the guy with the red apples to eat a quarter of an apple and throw me the "75%" that was left and that would be a fair trade between us because its not his fault that theres people in the hedges.

He threw 75% of an apple at me and people ran out the bushes in full view of the cop and said "HALT! THIS IS SQUAD X.A.T." grabbed the three quarter apple midflight, took a bite out of it (25% of 75%) and ran back into the bushes and 56.25% of a red apple fell into my hand.

I looked at the cop and said "Did you see that?". He looked at me and said "See what?"

"Squad X.A.T." I exclaimed.

He replied as if it was normal for Squad X.A.T. to just be hiding in the bushes like that and it kind of assured me that there is very little point in trading except by absolute neccessity because there is absolutely no protection from Squad X.A.T. and the most simple of trades can be clearly seen to be unprofitable to both traders and I get the sense that the more complex trades are deliberately complex either so that Squad X.A.T. can't take a bite out of whatever it is that is being traded or so that one trader can still make a gain at the expense of another trader while doing nothing to avoid bites being taken out the traded wares by Squad X.A.T.

I swear that this story is the truth in a certain light and its the kind of story what if it were told in clear white light it would be censored and the person who told the story in such a lucid way would be burned at the stake or something terrible.

Furthermore all this goes on in a world where people talk about "free trade agreements" which sound utterly amazing until you wonder if you yourself may be one of the commodities being traded.
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Freeman Stephen
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Re: Free Trade

Postby MikeThomas » Tue Jan 05, 2021 12:12 pm

We are the people our parents told us NOT TO PLAY WITH
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